The ancient Egyptians believed that upon death, they’d be asked two questions that determined whether they would continue their journey in the afterlife: “did you bring joy to others?” and “did you find joy in your life?”

I thought I would define the word “joy” before answering the question, even though there are countless ways to define joy. I found a quote from a book on my shelf. The book is called “Other People’s Words,” and I found it inside one of those “little free libraries,” the non-profit organization that promotes neighborhood book exchanges. It looks like a bookcase on top of a wooden pole, usually in the shape of a house. Anyways, the quote is, “A man has joy if he possesses three things — those whom he loves and who love him in turn, confidence in the worth and continued existence of the group of which he is a part, and last of all, a truth by which he may order his being” — Milton Steinberg.

I have confidence in my worth as a result of knowing that I am a child of God, and that my inherent worth is equal to me merely existing. That’s the only group I consider myself to belong to, that is, the one that believes in God, and this belief brings order and joy to my life. It’s the only guiding truth I can honestly claim.

I am lucky enough to say that I came into this world loved. My dad cried when I arrived, and according to my mom, this was the only time she saw him cry, that and during the movie “My Dog Skip.” For many years I suspected that my mother didn’t love me, but that was a lie. Today, I am lucky enough to call my mom a friend (which I never thought possible). I love my parents for bringing me into this world, although it can be painful, lonely, and painfully lonely at times. I have also felt joyous, and connected to my friends, family, lovers, to nature and God, and to my own soul.

When I ask myself the question, did I bring joy to others? I immediately start to question if I am bringing enough joy, and in what ways can I bring more joy? I would like to be a giver in this life, so I like the way this question has got me thinking. But instead of thinking about ways I’m not bringing enough, I’ll just focus on where I am:

A handwritten thank you note to a special someone who deserves some appreciation.

A post-it note on the refrigerator, or the pillowcase, just letting them know how much they are loved.

A phone call to my grandmother. She has no short term memory, but she knows who I am, and still gets excited to hear my voice.

A genuine compliment.

Cooking a homemade meal, hosting a dinner party, or picking up the check.

Giving someone a really good hug, the kind where you release your belly into the other person and hold it for a few good seconds.

Looking a homeless person in the eye, even if you’re not going to give any money, because they too, are worthy.

Helping an elderly woman figure out how to use her iphone.

Sharing a vulnerable story.

Crafting a wedding speech for a beloved friend.

Gifting a present that takes a lot of thought and consideration.

Helping someone unpack what feels scary and vulnerable, to find that it’s not as scary as they previously thought, and that there’s light and freedom on the other end. (I am a therapist).

Doing my best to live in alignment with the qualities of the Creator. Doing my best to lead with compassion and kindness, mercy, and non-judgement. Qualities that are devoid of lack, fear, and doubt. I can only hope that my choices, and life experiences bring joy to God.

And did I find joy? Oh yes.

A pen and a pad of paper.

Driving my old jeep wrangler without the doors on in the dead of winter, (a Dallas winter is nothing to a Chicagoan), feeling free as a bird.

Listening to a piece of music that touches you so deeply that you imagine there are little green vibrations emanating from your body. (I always imagine them as green vibrations but I’m not sure why).

Cuddled up with a fantastic book in the afternoon, then you take a moment to look up from your book, and you notice you’re in the midst of golden hour, when the sun is softer and redder, and you feel warm appreciation inside.

Having a big, long, belly laugh.

Being on a train, with the spirit of adventure on your back, just staring out the window.

A fresh, homemade sourdough loaf with spreadable Irish butter

Being consumed with the feeling of awe while looking at the night sky, completely filled with stars.

The feeling after you’re done “doom scrolling “on instagram, just kidding.

Feeling soft and secure in the arms of a loved one, when your bodies are nuzzled and caressed in just the right way, and in that moment you’re holding on, trying to stay there, hoping it will never end, but we know it will, and maybe that’s what makes it the best.

The natural flame and ambiance of a candle.

To be in the presence of a Banyan tree…

I hope they let me into heaven! Although I doubt the ancient Egyptians used the term “heaven.”